I don't know what all is going on right now. I know some things, but I'm not connected to any of the offline happenings, so all I know is what I see...
but a lot of my friends seem to really need a hug and to be held for a while and to just cry...
I'm very sorry that you're in pain right now, and that you feel isolated and alone. I'm sorry that your depression is winning. I'm sorry that your heart is aching. I'm sorry that I can't do more than post words on a screen, and that I can't physically hold you (if wanted or appropriate).
You are still important and worthy of love.
The world is full of some very nasty people, and some good folks but they aren't the issue, right now.
I'm sorry you are hurting.