Aaaand looks like @matrix (matrix.org) is down, and defaced.
Thoughts after leaving abusive/toxic household, longpost rambling (-)
Trying to just figure out if things could have been better. I kinda ran while nobody was at home, with all my things I could carry...
And I keep wondering, "could I do it without hurting anyone".
Then... I remember to consider what my parents would do. And... I have no actual idea of what they /would/ do. I... don't trust "That's how it would normally be done" reply of dad about "If I asked to go, would you let me?".
And bleh. Got asked by address by both of them. Obviously didn't say.
And I don't want to burn that bridge off completely... Though dad's "I'll report laptop stolen to police" (my laptop that was left in dust in my wardrobe for years) makes it harder to believe him, and that he wouldn't burn this bridge himself.
...where the fuck it all went wrong? Was it a shared effort, or was it them just... not caring enough and etc? sigh.
Dunno what to believe and trust.
There weren't physical things except for a recent dad's... threat while holding me down to bed. Otherwise it's just... "do X" but in such a way that makes me feel they don't care about me, but just about the thing being done... for their sake.
And I never felt that mom's sincere with her "I want this because it's needed for you, not just me", Maybe it's because she uses various threats that never happen/would happen, eh?
Bleh. Just rambling x.x
(~-?) Feelings about parents, confusion, probably domestic abuse? idk
Feel conflicted about parents. On one paw I kinda need support and they kinda seem to provide some?
On another I am somewhat scared of them in some way and etc. With casual "lol" when they converse with one another about me wanting to live alone on my own :V
Then there was time when father lashed out at me by threatening with broken nose for shouting in reply annoyedly at mother?
Oh and they don't consider freelance a real work ._.
Impression on Aquaman (lol, earlier than USA!)
So, got to watch Aquaman yesterday. Apparently I got to see it literally a week before full US release?
Thankfully there was a place locally where I could see it in English without translation, though without any 3D either because it was a small screen (don't regret it at all though).
So, movie is... good. That's me saying it as a person who has no idea about DC universe, doesn't watch too many movies and prefers random fanfics most of the time. Plot is... well, it's a superhero movie.
Also, a subjective though: some of the visuals and scenes and music are straight out Tron: Legacy. I guess I won't spoil it up!
I like programming and fountain pens. Currently inhabit south of Siberia.
<3 @ECrownofFire ~
The social network of the future: No ads, no corporate surveillance, ethical design, and decentralization! Own your data with Mastodon!