Death anxiety 

For a while now, every night, I've constantly been thinking about death. Not suicide, but kind of the opposite. The knowledge of my life having to end fills me with so much fear, that it seems the world falls apart every time another realization hits me.

I envy people that are certain of an afterlife, or reincarnation. And dragonkin that are certain of a past life, that can describe in great detail every aspect of it, certain that they will be a dragon once more. I'm dragonkin myself, but do not remember any kind of past life, leading me to think that maybe I've yet to have a life as a dragon, but certain I can never be. And I am not sure how I ever can be. I have too many responsibilities as a human to give it the amount of thought and discovery it deserves, and everyone else seems to have already formed an opinion about what comes to life after death. It fills me with so much doubt. Why would my opinion be worth more than all these other people who think something different? Wouldn't it be selfish to think your viewpoint is right, while everyone else's isn't?

All of this leads to me imagining a worst case scenario: the void, nothingness, no life after death. The only thing I can be certain of is that my life will come to an end, and anything after I cannot be certain of. Apply Occam’s razor, and you get to the conclusion there most likely isn't anything after death. And this thought is like an ankle tied to be legs. It feels like time is ticking, and it puts so much stress on me, too much to really think clearly about the subject of death. Your mind locking up, as if in a panic attack.

It took me a long time to share this, for several reasons. It seems that so many dragonkin (act like they) don't value their life, even if they happen to be born a human. Death is always brushed off so quickly, like it's no big deal, some even looking forward to that day. It reminds me of the way some elderly think about death, and maybe the similarity is there because dragonkin are born with an older soul, in a way. Personally, I believe there is a reason to anything, including dragons being born in human skin, and that this life is a necessary step towards draconity, even if I'm not entirely sure how to yet.

In a way, I cannot be the only one who thinks like this... there's even a word for this: thanatophobia. Maybe it's just a young soul that still needs to grow. Regardless, I think that sharing and perhaps discussing it might do more good than harm.

Google Maps Alternative 

It took me a while, but I think I finally found a suitable Google Maps alternative.

So, for context... when I switched to Android, I didn't want myself to get locked into the Google ecosystem, so I set out to find alternatives for some of Google's apps and services. However, Google Maps has always been hard to replace in particular. On iOS, my go-to app was Apple Maps, and unless it's gotten worse since I switched, it's one of my favourite maps apps. However, obviously, that option is not available on Android.

Yesterday, I found out about an app called "OsmAnd". It is completely open-source, and uses OpenStreetMaps (also open-source) for the map data. I'd say the map data is actually more detailed than Google's. This is especially for hiking and geocaching. There's only a few gripes I have.

- Search is limited to a 500 km range from your current location.
- The interface can be really overwhelming.
- Though there are many navigation modes (car, truck, walking, cycling, moped, plane, public transport, etc.), they are not as polished as Google Maps'.
- It works fully offline, but as a consequence, it does not get live data such as traffic and time table changes for public transport. Using online maps instead of offline maps is also very clunky.
- The amount of detail on the map can slow down older phones, though you can make it better by turning off certain features.

I'm not quite ready to uninstall Google Maps just yet, but I won't have to rely on it as much anymore. And not to forget, OsmAnd will most certainly keep improving.

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Help Wanted — Broken PS3 Slim — Red Light of Death? 

I would really appreciate it if someone with PlayStation 3 knowledge could give me advise, or could ask someone who does.

I purchased a used PlayStation 3 Slim (CECH-2000 series), but it turned out to be dead on arrival. I am now trying to get the system to work, but after extensive research I have not seen a case similar to mine.

When starting up the PlayStation 3, the LED colour is a solid green. However, there is no video or audio output from the system. The first thing I would try is reset the video settings. This, however, to no avail. I checked with another PlayStation 3 whether the AC and HDMI cables were not broken. This system started up successfully and was outputtiNG the XMB to the TV.

I noticed it wasn't possible to shut down the system by pressing the power button, which should have been possible if the PlayStation 3 was otherwise booting up normally. The only way to turn the system off was by unplugging the AC cord or holding the power button for 10-15 seconds.

Next thing I tried was entering the recovery menu. Usually, to access this menu you would (assuming the system is off) press and hold the power button until the system is off again. Then, you would press and hold the power button again until you hear two beeps in quick succession to gain access to the recovery mode. However, in my case, the PlayStation 3 kept power cycling (turning on and off again as I held down the power button). I've done this for up to ten times, but the two beeps never occurred.

Then, I tried removing the hard drive in an attempt to intentionally cause an error. However, the system behaved exactly the same, except that you could not hear the HDD spinning up anymore. On a side note, the HDD sounds normal (no clicks, etc.) so for now I don't assume it is broken.

Lastly, I tried a fan test. This can be triggered by holding down the eject button while plugging in the AC cord. The system went through the fan test fine. However, something peculiar happened when it finished the test. The PlayStation shut down, and the power LED began blinking red indefinitely (akin to a Red Light of Death) until the AC cord was reconnected. During this entire procedure, the LED never turned yellow, which would have indicated a Yellow Light of Death. This behaviour is different from my other PS3 Slim system (CECH-3000 series). After the fan test, it shuts down and the power LED turns off completely (not a solid red as usual). After reconnecting the AC cable, that system would go into standby again (solid red power LED) and behave normally again.


Below, I have provided a video showcasing the behaviour of the system. It shows (in order) the following:

1. The system running the fan test, after which the power LED starts blinking red.
2. A normal startup, after which the system can no longer be turned off unless forced.
3. Several power cycles involving holding the power button, attempting to trigger the recovery mode but failing.

Note: During this recording, the HDD was removed from the system. However, the behaviour would have been exactly the same of the HDD was inserted.


I haven't encountered a case like this before, and information in the internet seems to contradict each other. I would appreciate it immensely if someone with knowledge about the system could steer me into the right direction. Thanks!

Dunkin' and donuts don't go together as well as people think. Knots and donuts, however...

Kom terug bij mij, en sta aan mijn zij.
Mijn hart staat plots stil, nu ik van de pijn ril.
Ik sta aan deze zij, en reik uit naar jou.
Miljoenen mijlen ver, kom terug en blijf.

Het maakt mij niet uit, hoe lang terug het was.
Als ik mijn ogen sluit, ben jij wat ik zie.
Kom terug bij mij.
Miljoenen mijlen ver, kom terug en blijf.

This world needs more dragon stamps, so I always get some made. I ran out of them again, so I'm ordering a new sheet soon, but I thought I'd create an overview for myself of the different kinds of stamps that I already got made. Each series features unique artwork and is a limited print. Acquiring these stamps is possible by giving me a good reason to write you a letter!

Survived my exams, now time to dive back into my amateur radio course and get that license! 📡

Found this in a used book I bought, and wonder what kind of stamp produces something like this and where I can get it. Would be really cool for letter writing I think.

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Dragon Style

I'm a grumpy queer dragon lady and this is my quiet cave for me and some friends.