Miss Bimbo BottleBottom @Phorm@dragon.style

Hello there, Fediverse!

I'm Phorm. I'm a vixen, and a chemist, and most importantly: I'm a genie. I spend a little too much time puttering about the internet, and a non-zero amount of time being shamelessly horny on main (Though admittedly a lot of it can be crypto-horny).

As I sometimes discuss sensitive topics, I'm a bit wary about followers. If you'd like to follow me, please note:

1.) Please be over 18 (I lean NSFW)

2.) Please send me a DM first, particularly if we have a previous connection

3.) Please note that I am BEYOND genie obsessed and if you follow me you will be getting a face full of GENIE.

#Introduction

Hello Mastodon. Hello Dragon.Style.

Some of you here know me, but most likely do not. I'm Phorm. I'm a rather mundane thing, work in chemistry, and spend too much time puttering about the internet. I'm not a dragon, but I think dragons are keen.

I fancy myself a genie. I am obsessed with genies. Like VERY obsessed with genies. I spend way too much time talking about genies. In fact, I'll likely be rambling about genie research in this space often.

#Introduction

https://catandgirl.com/mass-extinction/

What happens when you take Duke Nukem 3D, rip out the pointless misogyny and machismo, replace the decades-old chiseled male stereotype lead, and put in an over the top, ass-kicking, cyborg-hunting woman wielding a twelve-chambered revolver she calls "Loverboy"?

You get Ion Maiden.

Ion Maiden is made in the Build Engine - The same damned Build engine from 1996. And I shamefully admit that it I love it and I think it's freaking amazing.

The game feels like exactly the kind of nostalgia I want - Yeah, it's pandering to me, given that I grew up with Duke 3D. But it also feels like the developers freakin' LEARNED from the last 20-30 years of game development and social progress?

Like, Shelly is still the same kind of ridiculous 80s action movie protagonist that Duke was. She still spouts lines from old movies, makes lame wise cracks, and has a generally dismissive attitude surrounding murder and violence. But she ain't the kind of dinosaur that Duke was. Duke Nukem Forever tried to bring Duke forward in time, only to realize how GROSS he was, and how utterly uncomfortable his whole concept was. Shelly feels like the developers actually understanding how to evolve that archetype in a way that WORKS.

Or maybe I just wish I could've been a goddamned kickass bitch back in 1996, and this is just me reveling in a missed opportunity.

...

Okay, I just had to get that out of my system. Apologies for gushing over something so trivial.

(But she has BOWLING BOMBS. Freaking BOWLING BOMBS! It's like... The first innovative thing I've seen in a classic FPS in a long time, and it really WORKS!)

(Spoiler: It is not cool.)

I've been busy all morning with work, what did I miss?

Oh, another state sanctioned step toward the fundamental erasure of trans individuals?

Cool.

Cool cool cool.

Why is sudden, complete, /irreversible/ dronification on my mind.

Why is it so hot.

"Suction of teat clusters heard" #NoContext

HOW HAVE I NEVER SEEN THIS BEFORE?

In "Invitation to the Dance", Gene Kelly is threatened by, and then dances with, an animated dragon.

An animated dragon who PUTS ON A VEIL AND BASICALLY BELLY DANCES.

The fact that she is (A) a dragon, and (B) has serious moves for not having any limbs is AWESOME.

This is basically one step removed from the root of all kink for me, so this is FANTASTIC. If I had seen this as a younger child, I would have imprinted on it so hard.

(Thank $DEITY I'm not playing the Raggedy Ann drinking game)

https://youtu.be/Xd-LsLwRtvY?t=100

There's got to be something seriously wrong with me.

Whenever there's something large, communal and happy, the only thing I can think is "That doesn't and never will include me". I never take the steps. I never walk the path.

Unfortunately, Super Blood Werewolves in the Bay Area are canceled tonight on account of rain storms.

Me, watching explicit Breast Expansion Animation: Sheesh. This sure is male-gaze focused. It reduces the subject to an object even before the gratuitous fetish content, and afterward makes her out to be nothing but an empty headed sex-toy. It's problematic, to say the least.

Also me, watching the same thing: Fuck, I wish that were me. I wish ALL OF THAT would happen to me.

When your
Legs turn to haze
And your master
you praise -
You're a genie

With your
lower-half mist
and bracers
on your wrists -
You're a genie

Lamps will pull
schoompa-doompa-doo
schoompa-doompa-doo
and inside you'll be going

Tits will grow
Fwoompa-bloompa-boom
Fwoompa-bloompa-boom
and your cups overflowing

When your boobs
fill with milk
and your clothes
turn to silk -
You're a genie

When you
bellydance well
and in
a bottle you dwell -
You're a djinn.

When you dream
of Jeannie
But you know you're
not dreaming, you djinni.

Hate to say
but today
this begins your foray
As a genie!

So I keep hearing that apparently Mastodon is doomed?

Thank god. That's absolutely right. It's doomed! Everyone should look for other options, or just go back to Twitter. Mastodon is a useless and pointless exercise, and it was a platform destined for failure.

...

Are they gone?

Okay, good. Break out the porn and turn up the music.

It just occurred to me that my heart is essentially broadcasting to the internet.

I think I'm part of the internet of things now.

The future is weird.

What if someone were a genie, but only some of the time? Like, only under certain conditions, and/or only when people do certain things?

Like... A werewolf style geniefication. That happens when you least expect.

*Browses news sites and Twitter briefly. Encounters a particular image multiple times.*

Wow. The Hamburglar really let himself go.

Current Mood (Foul language, Zbornak warning)

I've been trying to avoid bringing it up, but it feels like things are getting quite desperate. Mostly because the authoritarians are manufacturing and leveraging crises left and right.

Now there's even open calls to invoke emergency powers and "Sweep aside the recalcitrant left"

https://www.mediamatters.org/video/2019/01/10/lou-dobbs-trump-has-declare-national-emergency-and-simply-sweep-aside-recalcitrant-left-country/222491

This really isn't anything other than the final fig leaf falling away. And I find it terrifying.

MORE TERRIFYING though, is the obstinate refusal to acknowledge this that most seem to be experiencing. If you even try to say that this is dangerous, that this is leading down a violent and evil path, it's considered being Chicken Little.

I hope my heart gives out soon. I honestly don't much relish where we're headed. I'd rather pass on peacefully in my sleep than watch this evil slowly win, despite ineptitude, because no one wants to take it seriously.

Is it kind of screwed up that I'm more excited to see what the live action Dumbo movie does with the Pink Elephants on Parade sequence, than I am for the entire live action Aladdin movie?

(Better gosh darn preserve the Harem/Belly dance portion, dangit)

2017: Things are going to get worse before they get better.

2018: Things are going to get worse.

2019: Things are worse.

For that matter, why the ever loving heck do people get their media from people who actively advertise their negativity?

Why the heckaroo should anyone care about what the "Movie Misanthrope", the "Violently Vocal Videogame Vagabond", or the "Crusty Comics Crap-elemental" have to say?

Yelling insults at media and people is not compelling content.