Some Clueless Genie @Phorm@dragon.style

Hello there, Fediverse!

I'm Phorm. I'm a vixen, and a chemist, and most importantly: I'm a genie. I spend a little too much time puttering about the internet, and a non-zero amount of time being shamelessly horny on main (Though admittedly a lot of it can be crypto-horny).

As I sometimes discuss sensitive topics, I'm a bit wary about followers. If you'd like to follow me, please note:

1.) Please be over 18 (I lean NSFW)

2.) Please send me a DM first, particularly if we have a previous connection

3.) Please note that I am BEYOND genie obsessed and if you follow me you will be getting a face full of GENIE.

#Introduction

Hello Mastodon. Hello Dragon.Style.

Some of you here know me, but most likely do not. I'm Phorm. I'm a rather mundane thing, work in chemistry, and spend too much time puttering about the internet. I'm not a dragon, but I think dragons are keen.

I fancy myself a genie. I am obsessed with genies. Like VERY obsessed with genies. I spend way too much time talking about genies. In fact, I'll likely be rambling about genie research in this space often.

#Introduction

Roji Panty Complex

You find yourself inside a late 90s RPG/FPS computer game, with futuristic/cyber theming.

In front of you is a keypad locked door, with a three digit code.

What code do you enter?

Every so often, Hideki Naganuma will compose a song for some forgettable, obscure indie game that no one will play.

And it is never not the hottest fucking shit I've ever heard.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9S3yBqxCxB0

So now Twitter is implementing a "Super Follow" policy, where tweets can be restricted to paid tier members.

Holy fuck I hope this is what finally kills them.

Today was not much fun at all, and now I'm feeling nauseous. Not totally sick, but nauseous enough that it's even less fun than it was.

It's days like today that I would rather be made of magic smoke.

I'd rather be made of magic smoke every other day, but today too.

Gif, No Context or Explanation, Technicolor Pachyderm

*Fitful giggling*

. . . "Bemis"

"Let's get Bizet."

Honestly, I might be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that's what magic is on some level.

One day I hope to be a genie in reality, and I've come to realize what that's going to entail:

Never break kayfabe, even to myself.

Going to the grocery store is harrowing enough on it's own these days.

The fact that the lady behind me in line to get in is coughing every thirty seconds isn't making it better.

(We are waiting outside, with masks, but her mask looks very loose and hanging off her nose.)

🎶People try to put us down
(Talkin' 'bout my Djinneration)
Just because we're bottle-bound.
(Talkin' 'bout my Djinneration)
Our garments sure look awfully sheer
(Talkin' 'bout my Djinneration)
But that's our bellydancing gear
(Talkin' 'bout my Djinneration)

This is my Djinneration
This is my Djinneration, Baby.

Why don't you all behold our mist
(Talkin' 'bout my Djinneration)
Don't think you'll wish without a twist.
(Talkin' 'bout my Djinneration)
Don't need to take you application.
(Talkin' 'bout my Djinneration)
'Cuz this right here's YOUR Djinneration.

Your Djinneration
Your Djinneration, baby🎶

When I was very young, I was considered a part of Gen X.

Until I got to be a teenager, and people said I was a part of Gen Y.

Then I got to be a late teen, and was told, no, you're actually a Millennial.

And now I'm basically told that I'm a Baby Boomer, mostly I assume because I don't spend my time playing Fortnite and Minecraft.

Honestly, I don't care. I just wish there were a consistent naming convention.

In the parlance of our times, I believe the expression is:

🦀🦀🦀🦀

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LDU_Txk06tM

Game idea: You are a chef at a five star restaurant. Due to a weird mixup of delivery disasters, power failures, and local weather problems, your kitchen and pantry are only stocked with off-kilter, weird, utterly not-on-brand foods and food precursors. A can of chunk chicken. A Durian. Twinkies. A box of organic beef stock. A singular red potato.

The items available are limited, randomized, and completely ill-fitting to a five-star menu.

You must devise an amazing new dish by combining them in some way that looks and tastes avant-garde, rather than desperate.

If Doug Winger taught me anything, it's that something can be absurd, silly, and hot simultaneously. And that's not only okay, it's actually really happy and awesome.

When researching (and "researching") the likely root-cause-of-fetish imprinted-upon media that set me down the genie path, I've seen so many people speculate that the Pink Elephants scene in Dumbo is conspiratorial subliminal messaging. Like, _specifically_ the exact, out-of-place section that hit my brain sideways is always referenced as proof of illuminati involvement.

I think it's time I leaned into that, honestly.

It makes me want to commission a piece where captive subjects are being exposed to mind-bending and geniefying media, in order to further the ends of a shadowy sinister global organization. Probably complete with that whole "Text over Text showing thought-override" trope in the mix, while showing other more physical geniefication and augmentation evidence. Just REALLY go deep on the "Secret occult organization using magic and technology to turn people into genies via cartoon".

Part of me wants this because it is fucking ABSURD. Part of me wants this because I find it (I will confess) hot.

Look, even Genies need a day off...

(Wonderful Art by RubberMage - Original link: https://twitter.com/Rubber_Mage/status/1355561329717891074 )

A genie's gotta have the right outfit for the occasion. The classics are a must, but updated duds for the current era tend to be useful, too.

When Teff starts streaming, be cautious if you tune in. You never really know what'll happen.

(Positively fantastic art from RubberMage, who is fantastic, talented, and extremely more generous than I deserve. Original source: https://twitter.com/Rubber_Mage/status/1360073177611829251)