Phorm the Witchy Djinn @Phorm@dragon.style

Hello there, Fediverse!

I'm Phorm. I'm a vixen, and a chemist, and most importantly: I'm a genie. I spend a little too much time puttering about the internet, and a non-zero amount of time being shamelessly horny on main (Though admittedly a lot of it can be crypto-horny).

As I sometimes discuss sensitive topics, I'm a bit wary about followers. If you'd like to follow me, please note:

1.) Please be over 18 (I lean NSFW)

2.) Please send me a DM first, particularly if we have a previous connection

3.) Please note that I am BEYOND genie obsessed and if you follow me you will be getting a face full of GENIE.

#Introduction

Hello Mastodon. Hello Dragon.Style.

Some of you here know me, but most likely do not. I'm Phorm. I'm a rather mundane thing, work in chemistry, and spend too much time puttering about the internet. I'm not a dragon, but I think dragons are keen.

I fancy myself a genie. I am obsessed with genies. Like VERY obsessed with genies. I spend way too much time talking about genies. In fact, I'll likely be rambling about genie research in this space often.

#Introduction

My brain is not being kind to me tonight, and I think I'm jumping at shadows again.

So instead of my digging this hole deeper, I'm just watching ridiculous ancient informational shorts with commentary by the Mike-Era MST3K hosts.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kpoK5sbybDQ

From now on, the correct memetic response to "Aurora Borealis?!" shall be "Shining down in Dallas. Can you picture that?"

When I was in elementary school in the late 80s/early 90s, I recall being taken on a field trip to an amusement park. It didn't have roller coasters or carnival games. It didn't have shows or performances. In fact, it didn't even really have anything much to eat or drink or buy.

It was the WOOZ.

WOOZ stood for "Wild and Original Object with Zoom!"

Around the same time in Japan, a popular destination for amusement happened to be lifesized mazes, where people would pay to walk a series of modular outdoor corridors in an attempt to escape a modern-day labyrinth. In 1987, Sun Creative System announced they were bringing one of their maze attractions to America. That became the WOOZ.

While a smashing success in Japan, it turned out that in America, people weren't really all that enthusiastic.

There were a number of issues - American audiences saw the mazes as physical challenges, rather than mental ones. Meaning that they not only attempted to complete them in record time, but that they'd often cheat to do so - diving under or over walls, running at breakneck pace, and so forth. And when they were done, that was it - There wasn't anything more. While the company anticipated that walking the maze should take two to three hours, people were completing it in fifteen or so minutes.

The location of the WOOZ was also problematic: Vacaville, California was not known for its mild climate. The outdoor maze was a summertime destination, and the bright, merciless sun often baked people to the point of exhaustion. This lead to people abandoning the maze frequently through fire exits, and generally not enjoying their time being lost.

My recollection of my visit was hazy, but lines up with most popular opinion about the WOOZ. I remember it being interesting to me for its uniqueness - But thin and a bit hollow. Even as a small child, I realized it didn't have a lot of staying power.

The WOOZ eventually closed down in the early 90s, and remained derelict for roughly eight years. Rumor was that local police complained about the abandoned labyrinth-park, as people fleeing the cops often would duck into the maze to evade pursuit.

By the year 2000, the massive maze-complex was sold to the local fire department, who used it to stage various rescue drills. In a final exercise, the fire department eventually burned the WOOZ to the ground.

Sun Creative System had plans to open 60 WOOZ sites across America, but after the experience in Vacaville, they quietly decided to rethink that decision. The remaining 59 sites never even broke ground.

If you believe the retrospectives, The WOOZ was destined for failure due to poor construction choices, and more fundamentally, the fickle, hyperactive nature of the American consumer. It certainly wasn't a sensational hit.

But thinking back on it, it was exactly the kind of weird, unique thing that I'm glad is in my memory.

Being a skeledjinn for a little bit was fun, but I think it's time to be a witchy djinn for spooky season.

. . .

Mostly because, you know... Tits.

I forgot that, back in the 80s, cereal companies thought it would be a SUPERB idea to market their product using giant, sentient blobs of cum.

You needn't be afraid.

There is no such thing as a skeledjinn.

I remember when personal data security used to be an end-user responsibility. Keep your password strong and secure, don't write it down, ensure your machine isn't compromised, etc.

These days you could have flawless OpSec as an end user, and it won't matter at all because the corporations that require your sensitive personal data don't give a shit about keeping it safe.

How many times are the big websites/corporations going to have a "Whoopsie Doodle" that costs millions of people their sensitive personal data? My guess is many, many more times.

I'd like to take a moment to reiterate and emphasize my appreciation for the space we have here, away from the hegemonic internet corporate monoliths.

Thank you, O gracious administrator @anthracite 💕

*Reads headline.*

*Sighs heavily.*

*Walks briskly through the factory, bursting through the swinging doors that read "Furry Porn Division"*

*Picks up a megaphone*

"MORE WEIRD!"

*Workers regard her with surprise*

"M... MORE weird?*

"MORE. WEIRD."

"But wh-"

"Lindsay Lohan has an NFT fursona!!"

*A sudden flurry of activity*

"MORE WEIRD! INCREASE THE WEIRD! FULL WEIRD!!"

Me:

Amazon: MAY I INTEREST YOU IN TUNGSTEN CUBE

Me: . . . What??

Amazon: THIS IS THE CUBE YOU ARE LOOKING FOR

A recurring theme in my life is being told "Oh, I can't tell you how to do that, that's a path you have to forge on your own," and then the same people having *zero* reservations or hesitations about telling me I'm doing it /wrong/.

It just reinforces how alone I am, unless I'm getting chastised, embarrassed, or demeaned. Then suddenly there's a crowd.

Submissive and bottle-able.

Hi can I get a crystal bottle with genie smoke I mean genie smoke I mean genie smoke sorry I mean genie smoke I mean genie smoke I mean genie tits

Metamucil implies the existence of diegetic mucil.

Perfect Saturday Night Content

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wO61D9x6lNY

One day I will make peace with the fact that I will never belong anywhere. That groups do not want me as a part of their community, and that I am only ever tolerated as an isolated individual.

Someday I will understand this.

Today is not that day.

Loopy De Loop is a modern role model.

Pizza time