Phoenix Borealis @Phoenix_Borealis@dragon.style

I fell asleep super early and woke up super early. I don't have to be awake for another three hours, but here i am. Lol

There's a phrase often used to describe parrots that are strongly bonded to one person above all others, often to the point of indifference, ambivalence or even dislike or hostility and jealousy towards others. This is called being a "one-person bird." Any parrot is capable of being a one-person bird, but some parrot species are more likely to be one-person birds than others. For example, conures tend to pick one person to be their person and have an extreme affection for their chosen person, and usually display aggression to all others, whereas cockatiels are flock birds, and while they may still have a chosen person who is their favorite and the one they would rather perch on and spend time with, they are highly social and will still bond and play with most other people in their lives. Some individuals are more likely ot be one-person birds due to life circumstances too. For example, an exclusively hand-reared bird is more likely to be a one-person bird than one that is a mix of hand-reared and parent-reared, and birds that are kept with multiple other birds are less likely to focus on one singular person, either because they've bonded with another bird or because they're used to a dynamic social life.

A bird's person can sometimes change depending on life circumstances like rehoming, a change in routine that causes time spent with the bird to shift, death of their person and resemblance of a new person or even causes that we may not ever understand.

I've been thinking about this concept and how it applies to me. While I don't consider myself to be a "one-person bird," because I do love most people and get along well with most people, I have many traits in common with them. I get very attached to the one I feel to be closest to me and want to dominate all their time and energy, which I try really hard not to do, but
it can often be very difficult to articulate why I have irrational thoughts about them having other things to do and raging RSD when it comes to them needing alone time or time with other people. I want the people I love to be able to do things that make them feel happy and fulfilled, but I also want to be a part of all of it, and it is difficult to understand why I shouldn't be sometimes. I need people to be gentle with me sometimes because I am also a "feather plucker," (a term which describes birds that pluck their own feathers because of stress, isolation, boredom, illness or even just because they like the sensation) in that I will continually pick at the things I don't like about myself, overanalyze things constantly, erode at myself and turn everything in on myself, and I have absolutely no idea how to validate myself without involving other people. I am not gentle with myself, and that is something I have to learn to do better.

I have occasional depression that seems to be (but is not always) linked to my menstrual cycle. The days before are commonly emotionally unbearable, and the vast majority of crying episodes and floodgate opening happen less than 3 days before a period starts. I always attributed it to PMS, but I discovered recently that it might actually be PMDD, especially given my tendency to cry for seemingly unimportant or no reasons right before a period starts.

Here is some information on Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder PMDD that some of you might find useful.

https://www.womenshealth.gov/menstrual-cycle/premenstrual-syndrome/premenstrual-dysphoric-disorder-pmdd

makes me feel good.