Feel conflicted about parents. On one paw I kinda need support and they kinda seem to provide some?

On another I am somewhat scared of them in some way and etc. With casual "lol" when they converse with one another about me wanting to live alone on my own :V

Then there was time when father lashed out at me by threatening with broken nose for shouting in reply annoyedly at mother?

Oh and they don't consider freelance a real work ._.