Packbat = a social justice trans gxrl looking for thoughtful musings and pretty art, sharing other people's stuff, and being mentally ill on main (446 words under the cut) Show more
- By 'hikikomori' I mean that I was expected to achieve academic and professional greatness but dropped out of school to live in a house owned by my parents with no job and little in-person interactions with others. If I am missing important subtleties of the definition, I apologize.
- I tend to follow people on social media platforms based on whether I want to subscribe to the feed they are authoring and/or curating, so I neither expect nor make a rule of follow-backs.
- Follows are locked because ... okay, they were *originally* locked because followbots are creepy, but *now* they're locked because I show a lot of vulnerability in locked posts and I want to have some amount of comfort with people I let see them.
- (So far, the people who discover my presence here and care to see what I post seem to be mostly all right.)
- I'm not *fond* of discourse, but frankly, sometimes an opinion being contentious makes it *more* important to pick a side. I try to voice and share thoughtful takes.
- (Also, I have no patience for people who tell me that asexual and aromantic folks aren't queer. That one, I tend to be less "thoughtful" and more "emphatic in my rejection of something which directly harms me")
- My mom did a lot of emotional guilt-tripping. A lot of underhanded-but-widely-accepted-by-society manipulative tactics trigger major anxiety in me, but also just ... people adding emphasis to their recommendations by phrasing them as obligations (e.g. "you have to play this game!"). 'Preciate it if you didn't, especially at me.
- I don't talk a lot about being an atheist - I have Opinions about people who try to impose their theology on others - but I am fairly emphatically one. Mostly turns up in "as a metaphysical naturalist, this is why I disagree with such-and-such societal prejudice that gets passed off as 'scientific'" contexts, but I do sometimes make CWed post rambling or ranting about things.
- As of now, I play a lot of correspondence chess on Gameknot - https://gameknot.com/#packbat - for reasons that are still kind of obscure to me.
- Tabletop RPGs! <3 <3 <3 I play a lot, but haven't GMed much as of yet. My first system was SLUG - https://www.panix.com/~sos/rpg/slug.html - but most of my experience is with D&D.
- No longer unsure of whether I'm furry. 😸 Currently going back and forth between a dragon sona I haven't drawn or had drawn yet and the bat-eared fox sona that @aflightybroad volunteered to draw for me:
on what it means when someone lets you know that you messed up (quote, transphobia mention) Show more
"I guess the moral of the story, or the one I hope some readers take away, is that when YOU are the person doing it — calling the wrong pronoun, saying the ignorant thing, etc. — your behavior is both unacceptable and deeply familiar. And when a trans person takes time to call you out, to explain it to you, to show vulnerability or anger, it comes at a personal risk and a personal cost. It is your job to make that worthwhile."
- Lewis Wallace, "A week or two of being trans at work" https://medium.com/@lewispants/a-week-or-two-of-being-trans-at-work-ddb46134bf38
(Generalize to other marginalized groups.)
As with most philosophies, this can’t really be proven or disproven; there’s no sense trying to argue someone out of the opinion that Phil is an asshole for not acting the way famous people are supposed to act – or, crucially, for not acting the way *we* would act in his place. This is a popular argument because it’s an argument you can’t lose – no one can empirically prove whether Phil is or isn’t an asshole. What gets elided in this argument is the assumption that famous assholes – people who don’t act the way famous people are *supposed* to act – deserve to be *punished*.
- "This Is Phil Fish", Innuendo Studios, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PmTUW-owa2w
(Content warnings on the full video for discussion of harassment, insults framed in terms of sexual assault, and bigotry.)
on promising your account is safe for a marginalized group (364 words) Show more
...the more I understand about how many complicated ways people can be vulnerable and how diverse all our marginalized groups can be, the harder it feels to promise safety. I'm trans and nonbinary, but I'm also indubitably transfeminine - so how do I promise safety to transmasculine people when I don't really know what they need?
Heck, I can't even promise safety to my future self - there is so much I don't know, and so much that I've learned that I haven't noticed the poison in, that I'm sure to err in ways I cannot even imagine until later. *I'm ace* and I reblogged acephobic crap on Tumblr for a while - and while I've deleted those reblogs and unfollowed the person who posted them, how many other things have I screwed up unwittingly?
I'm trying to be safe for nonbinary people, for trans people, for queer people, for lesbians and other gay people, for bi people, for polyamorous people, for polysexual people, for ace people and aro people and people who are both, for autistic people, for trauma survivors, for disabled people, for PoC, for sex workers ... I'm trying, and I'm getting better at it, but I can't just say that I'm safe. That's a promise larger than I can make, larger than I feel comfortable asking anyone to make.
I can try to be safe, I can (hopefully, barring overwhelm from torrents of trolls) listen to critique when I err, and I'm getting pretty good at noticing the difference between "this is a member of a marginalized group asking for consideration and respect" and "this is an advocate for a harmful ideology co-opting a language of social justice for the purpose".
I can't promise to be safe, but I can promise to avoid most of the big mistakes, to acknowledge the mistakes I do make when informed of them, and to forever seek to do better by people.
...and maybe that's what people mean when they share those "my account is safe for" posts. But this is what I mean when I don't.
out of the canyon
looking up at nothing
An early favorite shot, when there was some fortuitously timed snow. (I'd be cursing it a month later, but that's another story) They'd largely stayed inside for a couple days, understandably unimpressed with the turn of the weather, but soon were back to normal. =:)
the Tumblr purge (-) Show more
Last weekend, I went through all my posts and made sure none of them were flagged. I was relieved that all my previously flagged posts that I'd requested an appeal for had been un-flagged. Today, I checked again, and now some of my posts are flagged again! I don't have time to babysit this crappy software over and over.
This time, the flag says, "This post was flagged because somewhere in your reblog there might be adult content," and there's no option to appeal it. As if Tumblr gives you any control over whether somebody adds adult content to your post when they reblog it!
somehow I have gone from "use my real name as my account name" in 2001 to "use my account name as my real name" today
i made a whole heckin thread about fox flux's physics, which i wrote from scratch https://twitter.com/eevee/status/1074041405159268352
For the holidays, you could say thank you to some of the people who write free software you use, especially software that isn't hugely popular.
Those of us who write little-known software may go for months without hearing from a user, and it can be a little de-motivating.
Hearing from someone who actually uses one's software gives an energising jolt that can carry one through several weeks of darkness and cold and wet.
One of my best friends Lydia needs new wheels to continue going to gigs and doing her things.
She's doing a crowdfunder.
Help an amazing transwoman continue making weird music and get out of the house.
Health, hormones, request for advice Show more
It has occurred to me that nearly every health-related issue I have is mostly tied to testosterone. I don't know if I'm yet comfortable trying to see a doctor about it, but I am curious about what sort of options there are for lowering testosterone, because all the "side effects" of low testosterone are things I'd really appreciate.
Furries are great because it means I get to experiment with the idea of my own sexual identity through characters on the internet.
How about this thing: record a sound you think is cool, upload it somewhere, and send me a link. I'll turn some of them into Serum wavetables and make a tiny little melody from them.
Boost this and share the fun.
link about a cryptocurrency cruise, sexism, evil people, and alcohol (boost with CW of toot alluding to IT culture generally) Show more
Finally got around to reading this delightful narrative about a journalist on a 4-day bitcoin cruise and OH was it worth the time taken to read it.
It really illustrates two archetypes we see frequently in IT: the oddly sheltered and worshipped Thought Leaders intermixed with the Imitation Thought Leader aka Con.
And how women fit into that dynamic in a field dominated almost entirely by men.
(I had to take a lot of brief moments to pause and be horrified to get through this. Also, a couple brief moments to admire exceptionally brilliant lines - a description of John McAffe, a quote from Olga Feldmeier about being a woman in blockchain, the journalist's question at the bitcoin-vs.-Bitcoin Cash debate and the response it got.)
(It's good and informative, and as a narrative, concludes satisfyingly. But geeze.)
Aros are cool
Bi aros are cool
Ace aros are cool
Gay aros are cool
Lesbian aros are cool
Pan aros are cool
Trans aros are cool
Nonbinary aros are cool
Being aro is gr8