how to know if something is romance; addendum
@alija I guess the closest thing I can compare it to, in terms of emotions I feel today, is the difference between seeing a really neat (insert your favourite domestic animal here) and being able to pet them, and seeing an epic (insert your favourite wild animal here) walking towards you, out of the mist, majestic and lovely, and then they lay their head down in your lap. The former is like, "aww, neat, adorable, cool, I'm happy!" The latter would make me want to cry and write poetry about how singular the experience was. Romance feels like that, I think.
I'm a grumpy queer dragon lady and this is my quiet cave for me and some friends.